Thursday, April 24, 2008

Not-So-Top Ten Things About Living in a Funeral Home

Now here's the rest of the story...

1. People think my house will be creepy. Please. My husband is a funeral director, but we are not the Adams Family.

2. Trying to keep four kids quiet for two to four hours during visitations and funerals.

3. Trying to keep my 11 year old daughter's slumber party quiet while my husband is downstairs making funeral arrangements with a family. Yes, this has really happened.

4. All of the laundry has to be carried from the basement to the second story. The lift only goes to the ground floor and the laundry room is in the basement. Clearly a man designed that.

5. I live with constant dread that the cat will escape downstairs and either sleep in or scratch up a casket worth several thousand dollars. No, this has not happened...yet. (Fortunately, we don't have the cat anymore. Hermit crabs are a much more funeral home-friendly pet!)

6. We have almost no yard. A little landscaping on the front and one side, but other than that, it's all parking lot.

7. Since we live in a business, people stop by a lot. Can't stay in my jammies and ponytail til noon (not that I ever did that before...)

8. The phone rings all day, and I can't just let it ring because it's a business line.

9. Lots of phone calls between 11:00 p.m. and 6:00 a.m.

10. There's always the chance that my sleepy four year old son might wander downstairs in his Power Ranger jammies on a Saturday morning looking for Mommy--in the middle of a funeral. Yes, this actually happened, too.

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